All Of The Stars
by HamilsquadFan
Summary: What if Evan had a crush on Connor this whole time instead of Zoe? What if he didn't include that part in his letter, but Connor found the letter? This is sort of an AU for Tree Bros, not everything is exact to the original story and dialogue. Rated T because I want to be safe, and Connor curses some. Also mentions of suicide.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note**: Hey there! So, all characters belong to the creators of Dear Evan Hansen, and partially their personalities. (But I changed somethings, not many tho). And also some dialogue from the original musical/book. That's all! (YeS, i know i put the title as the chapter on accident. I'm really sorry)

'I should have predicted something would have gone wrong today. The first day of school, and Jared already screwed my life up. I had gotten distracted while he was talking, so I only looked up when Connor started saying something.

"...Am I not laughing hard enough for you?" Connor had said. And then Jared called him a _freak._

And then I did the stupidest thing I could have done. My nerves took over...and I _chuckled._ And then he shoved me. Hard.

I didn't do anything about it, I just got up a few moments later. Everyone was staring at me. Then I quickly walked away to go quietly have a panic attack in the bathroom.

Well, even if I screamed no one would worry about me. Nope. I'm just the loser, Evan Hansen.

So now that you're all caught up, let's go back to the present.'

I sighed as I finished typing my letter. I mumbled to myself as erased the part of my letter that mentioned Connor. He wouldn't ever even notice I was alive, so why should I even write about him? I've had a quiet crush on him for a while...But I messed up every chance I had earlier.

I clicked the button to print out the paper, just as I heard someone walk up to me.

"How'd you break your arm?" Connor asked, motioning to my cast. I looked down, as if just noticing it was there.

"Oh! I uh...Fell from a tree." I mumbled. He started laughing.

"That is the saddest fucking thing I have ever heard." He said, and I forced myself to awkwardly laugh with him.

"Yeah." He looked at my cast again.

"No one's signed it." He said. I mumbled the words 'I know' as he already began to speak again.

"I'll sign it." He says, looking around.

"Oh, oh you don't have to." I say. This guy shoved me earlier, and now he wants to sign my cast?

"Do you have a sharpie?" He asked, not taking no for an answer. I quietly sighed in defeat, then pulled out the marker I had in my pocket. Then, to my dismay, he printed his name in all caps. He smiled and looked at his name, which covered half of my cast.

"Oh...thanks." I say, looking at my cast too. He then took something out of his pocket.

"Hey, is this yours? I found it on the printer. 'Dear Evan Hansen', that's your name right?" He asked. Panic flared through me, and my eyes widened.

"Yes, it's just for a project. Not very important, if you could just give it back-" He cut me off.

"Would anyone even notice if I disappeared tomorrow?" Connor said, looking back up at me. "I wish anything I said mattered to anyone?" He continued.

"Y-You don't need to read it out loud. We both know what it says." I say suddenly. He looks at me in confusion.

"You really think this?" He asks. I sigh and nod. "What were you going to do, kill yourself?"

"I don't think I have the guts for that." I say with a quiet laugh. "But...Yeah. Isn't it true? Name one person who would care if I just suddenly vanished."

Connor sighed and crumpled the letter up, then threw it in the trash. "Did you actually fall from a tree?" He asked after a few moments.

"I...Yeah! W-What...W-Why are you asking?" I said in a nervous voice. He narrowed his eyes, then grabbed my un-casted hand.

"I have an answer to your question." Connor said as we walked outside, him still holding my hand. "_I_ would notice if you disappeared tomorrow."


	2. Chapter 2

"_I would notice if you disappeared tomorrow." _The words circled around my head as Connor led me to his car.

"W-Where are we going?" I asked, my voice still shaky. Connor rolled his eyes.

"I would say 'trust me', but you probably still haven't forgiven me for earlier. I'm gonna show you a cool place, since I've noticed you really like trees. Then I'm going to take you out for ice cream, since now my only purpose on earth is to make you feel like you matter. And that people would notice if you disappeared." He said. "Now get in the car."

—-

I smiled a little bit as Connor led me to the mostly green part of the orchard. The trees were beautiful, and I took a moment to look around.

Connor had found a place in the grass to sit down, so I sat down next to him. Not right next to him, but not far away so he would think I'm avoiding him.

"So why did you jump, or let go? Or did you even fall from a tree at all?" Connor asked, glancing over at me. Then he leaned back and looked at the sky, his brown hair covering some of the grass underneath his head.

"Oh, um. I did fall from a tree...well...Okay fine. I didn't fall. I was climbing a tree, and then when I got really high up I decided that I didn't matter. That no one cared, and I would always be alone. I would always be the loser I am. So I just...I let go." I say, laying back on the grass as well. I turned my head to look at Connor, who surprisingly was looking back at me.

"Do you still feel that way?" Connor asked. I sighed, looking away from his eyes for a moment.

"Sometimes. Like earlier, when I was writing the letter. I just...Think that it's never gonna hey better." I heard something that kind of sounded like a sniffle coming from Connor. I looked back at him, but he was looking at the sky. Then sun was setting, and it cast a beautiful orange color on his face.

"I feel that way too. I mean, not all the time. Sometimes I'm happy...But most of the time..." He didn't need to finish the sentence. Connor looked over at me and smiled a little. "I'm really sorry about earlier. I was just mad at Kleinman, and I took it out on you."

"It's okay." I say. "I wasn't mad at you for shoving me or anything. I'm actually happy you took me here. It's really pretty."

"Yeah, I come here a lot to just think. It's nice and quiet." He says. I swear he inched closer to me, but I wasn't sure. I nodded a little, then he sat up. "We should go before it gets dark."

"Oh, right. Are we still getting ice cream?" I asked, standing up, then offering him a hand. He smiled and took it, then stood up.

"Definitely." He said. And then we started walking out of the orchard.

I didn't notice this until after we had gotten ice cream and parted ways, but he never let go of my hand as we were walking.

And I never let go of his.


	3. Chapter 3

Me and Connor would hang out almost every day after school. Sometimes on the weekends, but his parents would want to do family activities sometimes.

So I was surprised when he texted me on a Saturday, at 4 in the morning.

**Connor: **_Hey, can you meet me at the orchard?_

_**You: **__Its 4 in the morning _

**Connor: **_I know, I couldn't sleep. You know what? I'll come pick you up._

_**You: **__Wait, what?!_

_**You: **__Connor?!_

_**You: **__CONNOR!_

**Connor: **_Chill man. I haven't seen your house yet anyway. Just be ready to go in a few minutes._

I stared at my phone for a minute, before turning it off and quickly rushing to get dressed. I threw on my usual clothes, then brushed my hair. I made it downstairs right as Connor knocked on the door. He's lucky my mom was working.

I opened up the door and smiled, Connor smiled back. I would like to say we've gotten closer these past few weeks but...that might just be wishful thinking.

"I like your house." Connor says, walking inside. I closed the door and walked into the kitchen, pouring myself a cup of water. I didn't bother with breakfast, as usual.

"I know it's not as big or fancy as yours." I say, looking over my shoulder. Connor was standing in the living room, looking at old pictures. None of them were recent.

"It's perfect." Connor says. He picked up a picture and smiled a little, then put it back down.

"So what are your plans for today?" I asked. "They better be good, since you woke me up at four. In the morning." I walked out to the living room and smiled at him, he returned the smile. His eyes lit up whenever he smiled, but it was only with me. Not when we were around his family, or at school.

"We are going to go to a lake. It's a couple hours away, but I wanted to go with you." He says.

"Well, let's go then." I say, grabbing a book from the table beside our couch.

"Wait, really?" He asked, obviously surprised. I nodded.

"Yeah, let's go on an adventure." I say, smiling. He laughs a little, then takes my hand and walks out the door with me. I sit in the passenger side of the car, then buckle my seatbelt.

"You should sleep for a little bit. We won't be there for a while." Connor says, handing me a jacket to use a pillow. I smile and nod, then make myself comfortable. I was asleep soon, listening to the radio. Well, mostly listening to Connor softly singing along to the songs.

—

I woke up when Connor shook my shoulder. I looked out the window and gasped a little.

"Come on, it's cooler when you stand on the edge of the bridge." Connor says, laughing. He opened his door, and I opened mine and got out.

The sun was just now rising, as me and Connor raced to the edge, leaning over the side a little to look at the water.

"It's amazing." I say in a hushed voice, not wanted to disrupt the enchanting beauty. Connor smiled and nodded.

"I know. That's why I woke up up early." He chuckled a little. "Now, you tell me if it was worth it or not."

I laughed and leaned over the edge more, closing my eyes as I felt the breeze on my face.

"Definitely worth it." I say, looking over at him and smiling.

"Hey, Make sure your careful." Connor said, moving closer to me. He put his arm around my waist and pulled me back. "I don't want you falling over."

"Sorry." I say, blushing a little. He smiled, and I looked up at him. He moved his face closer to mine, as if asking my permission for something.

When I didn't say anything, he leaned forward again and kissed me.

_Oh my god, I'm kissing Connor_


	4. Chapter 4

After we kissed we had stood there for a while. The sun was fully risen by the time Connor pulled away from me.

"We should probably head back." He said. I looked at him, then took his hand in mine. He smiled, and we walked back to the car together.

Nothing bad happened until we were almost home. We had been talking about the kiss, and how we felt about each other when the deer ran into the road.

Connor had swerved to the side, whereas I was starting to have a panic attack. That's when we hit a tree, and I felt my body lurch forward. And then everything went black.

—**POV Change. Connor's Perspective—**

I hadn't seen the deer. It just ran in the middle of the road. I had glanced at Evan to see his smile, when I noticed his eyes widen with panic. I quickly looked back to the road, then I panicked, and swerved to the side. I wasn't even thinking, I was stupid. The road was lined with trees on both sides, and I had smashed the car into a few.

Everything happened at once. I heard Evan scream, and I heard his head smack against something. I wasn't sure what.

"Evan?! EVAN?!" I shouted, trying to escape my seatbelt and get out of the car. He didn't respond, so I forced myself to look at him. There was a massive cut on the side of his head, and little ones from the windshield breaking.

I started to panic again, but I managed to get out of the car. I called an ambulance as soon as I freed myself, and then tried to get Evan out.

By the time I managed, I heard the sirens coming closer. _He's still breathing. He's still alive._ I thought with sudden relief. I hadn't noticed it until then, but I was crying.

A couple of hours have passed. I'm still waiting in the hospital for them to say Evan was okay. _Please, god, let him be okay._ I thought, tears filling up my eyes again.

That's when Evan's mom came rushing in, almost running. I stood up immediately, walking over to her.

"M-Ms. Hansen." I say to her. She looked frantic, they probably hadn't told her much.

"Who are you?!" She asked.

"I'm Connor. I'm Evan's-" I stopped for a moment. "Friend." I finished, just to be safe. "I was driving him back h-home from where we went and-"

"Is he going to be okay?!" She cut me off, her eyes still frantic.

"I don't know." I said quietly. I wish I did. I wish I knew he was going to be okay, and I hadn't just killed the boy I have had a crush on since the begging of the school year.

Ms. Hanse, I'll just call her Heidi, rushed to the nurse that was walking towards us. I followed her, but I little slower. _Please be good news, please, please, please._

"He's stable but...He hasn't woken up yet." The nurse says in a hushed tone. "We're not sure when he will. It was a bad crash."

"Can we at least see him?" Heidi asked. The nurse looked at me. "Family only." She said.

"I'm his boyfriend, please. Let me see him." Connor said suddenly. He _needed _to see Evan. He needed to see him.

Heidi glanced at me, but I just shook my head a little. The nurse sighed and motioned for us to follow her.

It took all my strength to not break down crying when we saw Evan. He was hooked up to several machines, and part of his head was wrapped in bandages. I quickly walked over to his side and took his hand.

"I'm sorry Evan." I said quietly. "I'm so sorry."


	5. Chapter 5

It's been a week. A week since the crash, and Evan still hasn't woken up. My parents still made me go to school, but as soon as the last bell rung I ran to my car to get to the hospital.

It turns out Evan was right. No one noticed that he was gone. No one but me, obviously. It was a Friday when Kleinman came up to talk to me.

"Hey, Murphy. Did you kill Evan or something? I haven't seen him around." Jared said as I was throwing my books in my locker. I wanted to get out of school to see Evan, but he was stopping me.

"He's been gone since Saturday. You just now noticed he was missing?" I growled as I slammed my locker and turned to him.

Jared backed up a little. "Hey, cool it. I noticed he wasn't here on Monday, but then I stopped caring. So? Did you kill him or not?"

And that's when I kind of snapped. I was sick of him asking if I had killed Evan. The main reason why was because I didn't know. Evan hadn't woken up yet. What if he never did?

What if I had killed Evan?

Well...Even so. I punched Jared.

"I didn't kill him, you asshole!" I yelled. "It wasn't my fault!"

"What wasn't your fault, you freak?!" Jared yelled back. His hand was clutching his nose. A few drops of blood were dribbling from his hand.

I felt tears welling up in my eyes, so I just shoved him out of the way and ran out of the school. I needed to see Evan. I wanted him to wake up. I _needed _him to wake up. This week without Evan had been nothing but torture.

I raced to my car and quickly started it before exiting the parking lot, and driving to the hospital. As soon as I got there I hopped out of my car and walked inside. I nodded to the nurse at the front desk, and she smiled at me. I couldn't tell if it was a sad smile or not, so I walked as quick as I could to Evan's room.

He wasn't there.

I checked the room number again. I was in the right room, but he was gone. A million different thoughts came crashing down on me all at once.

_He's dead, he died. He's gone. _

_You'll never see him again. You'll never see his smile, hear his laugh._

_It's your fault. You crashed the car. He died because of you._

"Connor?" Someone asked. I turned my head and looked at the nurse. She smiled. "Don't worry. We moved him to another room. Follow me."

I inhaled a relived breath. He wasn't gone. He was still alive. And she was smiling. He must be doing better.

She led me to the room Evan was in, then smiled and closed the door after I had walked in. I could barely believe what I was seeing.

Evan was sitting up in his bed.

His eyes were open.

And he was smiling.


	6. Chapter 6

(**Back to Evan's POV)**

I had woken up only an hour before Connor had walked into the room. I didn't know how long I had been in a coma, but I guess I could just ask him.

When he walked in I immediately sat up and smiled. It felt like it had been years since I've him. He gasped when he saw me.

"Hey there." I said. My voice was quiet, since it had apparently been a while since I had used it.

Then Connor did the unexpected and raced over, then kissed me without any warning. He pulled away after a few moments, and I stared at him.

"I was really worried." Connor says, smiling as he sat down on the bed. "I didn't see you in the normal room you're in, so I immediately assumed the worst."

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Well the good news is that the worst is only a scar on my head." I say. Connor smiled again and held my hand.

"I'm sorry for everything. I should have been paying attention. I missed you so much." He said, tears forming in his eyes.

"Hey..." I say quietly, pulling my hand away from his. I gently wiped his tears away and smiled. "It's okay. I'm alright now Connor."

And then I kissed him. I kissed the boy I have had a crush on since the beginning of the school year.

—

I only had to stay in the hospital for a few more days. It was Friday, so Connor stayed with me the whole time.

When I finally got out of the hospital, we went to get ice cream to celebrate. I told Connor it would be our first official date. And it went amazingly. We also stopped by the orchard to sit there for a while.

My mom insisted upon her driving me to school, even though she would be late for class.

"I know you and Connor are dating now, but the last time you drove with him you ended up in the hospital for a week!" My mom had said when I asked if I could drive to school with Connor. I had just sighed and agreed to her driving me.

When we finally got there, Jared was the first to come up and talk to me. Which was a surprise. A really big surprise.

"Acorn!" Jared called when I stepped into the hallway. I saw Connor, and he saw me too. Him and Jared both started walking over to me, but Connor got there first.

"What do you want?" Connor asked, putting his arm around my waist protectively. Since I had gotten hurt in the car crash, he made it seem as if he never wanted to leave my side again.

"I just wanted to say congrats." Jared says, smirking at me and Connor. "I mean, you survived the freak's murder attempt."

"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked. Jared rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone. Then he showed me the school's Facebook page for students.

"What the hell?!" Connor exclaimed, rather loudly. People were talking about how Connor had purposely crashed the car. Why? Oh, according to them it was to get back at me for making fun of him with Jared on the first day of school.

Yeah. That's why. Totally.

"That's not what happened." I said angrily. "We were on our way back from driving to this lake, and a deer ran into the road. Then Connor swerved to the side when he panicked, and accidentally crashed into the trees."

Jared smirked. "And almost killed you in the process." Connor stepped forward, but I quickly grabbed his hand and glared at Jared.

"You know he didn't mean to crash the damn car." I say, squeezing Connor's hand for comfort. Connor took a deep breath in, and slowly let it out.

"Do I though?" Jared asked. "I mean, come on. Face it Hansen. He shoved you for no reason on the first day of school. He's been 'hanging out' with you almost every day after school. Either he's weirdly obsessed with you, or he's just trying to figure out how to successfully kill you. Since the first time obviously didn't work."

The next thing that happened was a surprise to everyone in that hall. To me, Connor, Jared, everyone basically.

"Oh go fuck yourself Jared."


	7. Chapter 7

I'm not a great fighter. I'm not as strong as some of the other people in the school. Jared included. Even though he's not too strong. After I told Jared to go fuck himself, he tackled me. And hit me, even though I tried to fight back.

He did more damage, obviously. He had tackled me, and didn't stop hitting me until Connor managed to pull him away from me. I heard Connor yelling, but I wasn't sure what he was saying. _Please not another panic attack, please._ I silently begged as I felt myself breathing faster.

I felt Connor pick me up and carry me outside, but my eyes were squeezed shut.

"Evan, Evan look at me. Shit, what do I do? Come on, help me out here." I heard him say after a few moments. I opened my eyes and looked down at my hands.

"I'm s-s-sorry." I say, wiping away the tears that had formed. Connor set me down in the grass outside of the school. He grabbed my hand and kissed my cheek.

"Don't be. It's okay. Jared was being an ass, he shouldn't have attacked you like that." Connor says softly.

"I sh-shouldn't have s-said that to him him." I say. Connor sighs and pulls me closer to him.

"Come here...You had every right to say that to the bastard. I'm honored that you stuck up for me. But I never want to see you get beaten up like that ever again." Connor said, kissing the top of my head after he finished talking.

"S-So what's the damage?" I ask, looking up at him. He sighed and brushed my hair out of my face.

"Your eye looks like it's swelling up, and you're bleeding a little bit. But not too much" Connor says. I sighed and wiped away some of the blood on my face. Which only smeared it. Great.

"Alright, come on. We're skipping class. I'll take you to my house and fix you up." Connor said, standing up and helping me up too. I smile a little and take his hand.

"Alright. Let's go." I say. Connor laughs a little.

"I think I'm a bad influence, Evan. Before me, you would have never skipped class."

I laughed too and put my arm around him. "Before you I wouldn't have had the guts to stand up for myself against people either." I say, smiling.

"So I'm sort of a bad influence, sort of a good influence?" Connor asked. I smiled and nodded.

"Basically."

He laughed again and opened the passenger door for me. I hadn't seen his new car yet. It was pretty nice. I got into the car and smiled at Connor. I still didn't like driving, but it was okay. I trust Connor. I always will.


	8. Chapter 8

—**Connor's POV—**

Evan was awestruck when he walked into my house. He always was. It was adorable.

"Alright, sit down and I'll be right back with the first aid kit." I said after I had walked in and closed the door. Evan nodded and sat down on one of the couches. I raced upstairs and found the kit in the bathroom, then went back downstairs.

"What a gentleman. Taking care of me and everything." Evan said when I sat down in front of him. I smiled and grabbed the disinfectant.

"Oh yeah, that's me. I'm quiet the gentleman." I say, smiling. I carefully cleaned the cuts on his face, then wiped away the dried blood.

"Thank you." Evan said, smiling still.

"No problem. I'll go get ice for your eye." I say, walking into the kitchen. I heard the door open as I was getting ice from the freezer. I quickly walked back out to the living room and handed the ice to Evan.

"Oh, Connor." My mother said. She glanced at Evan. I could tell his scar was the first thing she noticed. "Who, who is this?" She asked.

"Mom, this is Evan. Evan, this is my mom." I muttered.

"What are you two doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at school?" She asked. I sighed and glanced at Evan. I'm pretty sure he was trying his hardest to turn invisible.

"Evan got in a fight and got hurt, so we decided it would just be better to skip. And it was going to be a hard day anyway, with all the rumors of me trying to kill Evan by crashing the car." I say. I say down next to Evan, holding his hand.

"Oh. This is the boy you were in the car with?" She asked. I nodded.

"He, um, I'm also dating him too now. So...Don't tell Larry. Please." I say,

looking up at her. She smiled and nodded.

"I won't tell him, I swear." She said. "Now, why don't you show Evan around the house? Then you two can go to wherever you spend your time after school."

Evan smiled a little and stood up with me. "It was nice meeting you Mrs. Murphy." He said.

"Call me Cynthia. Now go, I need to put away these groceries." She said.

I took Evan's hand again and walked upstairs with Evan. I showed him around, and when we came to my room I collapsed on my bed.

"Would you like to lay down with me?" I asked, patting the space besides me. Evan laughed a little.

"Of course," He said, smiling as he laid down next to me. I put my arm around his shoulder and pulled him close.

"You didn't hurt Jared after you pulled him away, did you?" Evan asked after a few minutes had passed.

I sighed and put my other arm around his waist. "No. I yelled at him, of course. But I didn't hurt him. I was more concerned about my boyfriend, who was having a panic attack. Which almost gave me one, since I didn't know what to do." I said.

I saw Evan smile a little. "When I have a panic attack, and I don't have my medicine with me, counting to ten helps. And counting from ten to one." He said.

"I'll remember that." I say. We must have fallen asleep sooner or later, since the sun was setting when my mom knocked on the door.

"Connor? Your father is going to be home soon. Unless Evan is staying for dinner, he should probably go home soon."

I sighed and sat up, looking at the peaceful Evan sleeping besides me. I smiled and gently shook his shoulder.

"Evan, wake up." I say quietly. He groaned and mumbled something that sounded like "I don't wanna go to school."

I laughed and kissed him, which made him open his eyes, and blush when he realiz3d I kissed him.

"You don't wanna go to school?" I asked, laughing. Evan sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Why am I awake?" He asked, smiling at me.

"Cause I was gonna take you home. But I can tell my mom me and you are going out to dinner together. She won't mind." I say. Evan smiles more.

"Yes, let's go out to eat. Cause we're a couple." He says, then he kisses me and rolls off of the bed.

"You are so weird." I say, rolling my eyes and helping him up off the floor.

"Let's go!" Evan says, smiling as he walked down the stairs.

"Alright, Wait for me!" I say. I tell my mom that me and Evan are going out, and then we went to my car and started it.

"Where to?" I ask, looking over at Evan. He seemed to tense up a little after getting into the car.

"I kind of want pizza. What about you?" He said, smiling at me.

"Pizza sounds delicious." I say as I start driving.


	9. Chapter 9

(Evan's POV)

After me and Connor got pizza we went to the orchard. Even though it was dark out, we still wanted to go. We had a lot of memories attached to that place.

I smiled as I laid down next to Connor kissing his cheek. He smiled back, then looked up at the sky.

The moon had risen not too long ago, but there were still so many stars up in the sky.

"I think this is better than seeing the sun rise over the river." Connor said to me, holding my hand again.

"What? Seeing the stars?" I asked.

He laughed a little. "No, not just seeing all of the stars. Laying here, with you, just looking up at the sky. Forgetting all of our problems for some moments. But the stars are cool too."

I smiled and turned to face him, he did the same.

"This is way better than seeing the sun rise over the lake." I say. "It's way better than a lot of things."

He smiled and gently kissed me on the lips. Then he looked into my eyes and said the words that would forever change my life.

"I love you Evan Hansen."

"I love you too Connor Murphy."

We eventually fell asleep, cuddling next to each other. I woke up the next morning with a million texts from my mom, and even a few from Jared. A lot of them were 'Where are you?!' And 'Evan, tell me where you are right now!' From my mom. I had to rub my eyes to make sure I was seeing the ones from Jared right.

**Jared: **_Okay, look. I'm sorry for hitting you. I really am. Just, please, call me or text me back._

There was one a couple hours later, at midnight.

**Jared: **_I know I was an ass, okay? Please, text me back. I'm worried. Your mom called me and said she didn't know where you were. _

And then one at four in the morning.

**Jared: **_Seriously Evan! I'm really worried, even tho I don't like saying it. Your mom is worried too. She thinks you're in trouble, or dead. Please, please, please don't be dead. _

I quickly replied to Jared's first. "_Hey, I'm sorry. I went to the old orchard with Connor and we fell asleep together. I'm sorry, I really am."_ I sent a similar one to my mom, explaining what had happened. My mom didn't respond right away, but Jared did.

**Jared: **_Oh, God. I was worried about you all night, I couldn't even sleep. And yet you were in an orchard sleeping with your boyfriend! Jesus Christ, Evan._

I laughed to myself a little and put my phone away, then turned to Connor.

"Wake up sleepy-head." I said with a smile, shaking his shoulder.

"Im already awake." Connor said, smiling and turning so he was laying on his back. He smiled up at me, and I kissed his nose.

"Well, we need to go then." Evan says. "It's already eight."

"Oh, shit." Connor said, rubbing his eyes. "My parents are going to be pissed."

I laughed a little. "Yeah, my mom apparently assumed I was dead, and called Jared too.

"Wow." Connor mumbled. "Alright, come on. We have to go." He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up.

"Okay, let's go then." I say, smiling.


	10. Chapter 10

(Couple warnings real quickkk, so there's bullying in this one and I just kind of wanted to warn you guys about cursing, I know it's rated T bUt just in case)

(Evan's POV)

My mom was really mad at me. Even when I tried to explain everything. So now I'm grounded.

Walking into school the next day was...interesting. Me and Connor decided that we didn't care if people made fun of us being together. So we walked into school, Connor's arm around my waist, and mine around his.

This caused trouble for me. I mean, come on. No one would dare make fun of Connor freaking Murphy. But Evan Hansen?

Everyone would make fun of me if they had the chance. Except for Connor. Duh.

I received a text from Connor just as the last class was over. He wanted to meet at the orchard later, but he had skipped the rest of school. Typical Connor.

The halls were mostly empty as I was walking out of school. _Please let there be no trouble, just let me get home normally._ I thought as I kept walking.

And then I felt someone shove me against the wall of lockers. My shoulder banged into one, and I winced a little bit.

"You're dating Connor Murphy now, huh?" One of the guys sneered. "I always knew you were a fag." Another one shoved me. This time I fell to the ground.

"Leave me alone." I say quietly, barely loud enough to hear. I carefully got to my knees.

"The hell did you just say, fag?" One of them asked. Another one kicked me back down. Whenever I tried to get back up, they would just kick me down again. Soon enough everything hurt.

"Hey!" I heard someone shout. "Back the fuck away from him!"

I looked up to see my savior.

To my complete surprise, it was Jared.

—**Jared's POV—**

Connor had texted me as I was leaving school. I know, the first question should have been '_How did this asshat get my number?'_

Well I was concerned by the text, if that clears anything up. Apparently him and Evan were supposed to meet up at the old orchard. But Evan never came.

Of course, there was the possibility Evan just blew Connor off. But that wasn't what Evan would have done. I've known Evan practically my whole life. I know him better than almost anyone.

So I was very concerned when Connor texted me saying Evan never showed up. Especially since the time where Evan wasn't answering, and I was overcome with guilt. I hadn't apologized for hitting him, and Heidi had shared her worries with me.

Well, anyway.

I walked into the school, trying to find him. Connor was going to his house to see if he was there. And, to my surprise, I did find Evan at school.

But I wanted to kill the people who were surrounding him. Evan was curled up on the ground, and the guys were kicking him. Until one saw me, and they all stopped.

I saw Evan look up at me with fear in his eyes, but he quickly looked back down and curled up in a tighter ball.

"Hey!" I shouted, advancing towards them. "Back the fuck away from him!"

"Just turn around and walk away Kleinman. Then we can finish beating up the fag, and go on our merry way." One of them growled.

"I said go." I say to them. A couple turned and walked away, and the rest followed. When they were Definitely gone, I collapsed next to Evan.

"Hey, Evan? Can you hear me?" I asked softly. He didn't respond, or move. I sighed and took out my phone, then quickly texted Connor.

**You: **_He got beat up by some guys, and he looks really shaken up. You should probably come._

**Connor: **_Don't move, I'll be there in a few minutes. _

I sighed in relief after Connor texted back, then I put my phone away.

"Connor's coming. It'll be okay Evan." I whispered. I think I saw him nod, but I might have been wrong. A few moments later I heard someone burst through the doors, and then Connor slid next to Evan.

"Hey, hey." He said to him. "Evan, are you okay? Do I need to call anyone?" Connor put his hand on Evan's shoulder, and I stood up and moved away from the two.

I wouldn't want to intrude.


	11. Chapter 11

(Connor's POV)

Evan eventually looked up at me, and I gently kissed his nose. He sniffled a little and wiped away his tears.

"What happened?" I asked in a soft voice. My hand was still resting on his shoulder. He sighed deeply, then moved so he was sitting upright. He still had fading cuts from earlier in the week, but now there were new ones too.

"Apparently people don't like that we're together." Evan said, gently grasping my hand and holding it.

"Oh...Evan..." I say quietly. I pull him close to me and hold him, his head resting against my chest.

"C-Can we g-go?" He asked after a couple seconds. I nodded and got up, then helped him up too.

"Yeah. You wanna get some ice cream?" I asked. He smiled a little and nodded. Then he turned around and looked at Jared.

"Thank you." Evan said. Jared just shrugged.

"No problem." He said. Then he turned around and walked away. I looked at Evan, and he looked back at me.

"Come on, let's go." Evan said. He looked a bit happier now. I smiled and put my arm around him, so he could lean on me if he wanted. Then we walked out of school, and then drove to the ice cream place.

"I don't want to go back to school anymore." Evan said after we had gotten our ice creams.

"So just skip every so often, and make up excuses." I say, looking over at him.

"Yeah, but they would call my mom." Evan sighed. "I don't want to disappoint her more than I already have."

"Hey, you haven't disappointed her at all." I say to him, taking his hand and squeezing it.

Evan smiled a little, then I heard his phone ding. He ha to let go of my hand to read it, and when he did he stood up.

"Shit, Connor. I'm grounded, I need to get home!" He said, scarfing down the rest of his ice cream.

"Okay. I'm sorry, I didn't know you were grounded. I would have taken you home, then we could have snuck out later." I half-joked as I quickly finished my ice cream, then walked him out to the car.

"Yeah, But my mom is home today. She took a day off, and I forgot." Evan says. He took out a pill container and swallowed one, then put it back in his backpack.

"What was that for?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"N-Nothing important." He mumbled.

"Alright." I said with a nod. Yeah, I was a little suspicious. But I decided to trust him. He was Evan, what could he possibly have to hide that I didn't know?

Although, it kept bugging me as I drove. He already admitted to trying to kill himself before. What if they were strong drugs and he overdosed on purpose?

_I'll just ask him later. Stop worrying Connor. _I thought as I slowed the car to a stop so Evan could get out.

He glanced at me, then opened his door. But then he looked at me again, then kissed me. I smiled a little bit, and he did too.

"They were for my anxiety. The pills." Evan says. "I know you were wondering."

"Yeah, I kind of was. Just worrying mainly." I say with a small sigh. He smiled again, and kissed my cheek.

"Don't worry. I'll see you later." He said before exiting the car, then going into his house. I sat there for a moment and smiled to myself. Evan was amazing. And anxiety pills weren't that bad, right?


	12. Chapter 12

(Evan's POV)

I tried to quietly sneak into the house, but my mom was in the living room. I heard her call my name as soon as I closed the door.

I sighed and walked over to her. "Yeah?" I asked. It was only then I realized I had forgotten to clean up the scratches on my face. Whoops.

"What happened to you?!" Heidi asked, standing up and walking over to me.

"I Uh...Nothing important." I say, looking at the ground. She rolled her eyes.

"Well it certainly _looks_ important." She says. Then she narrows her eyes. "Were you with Connor when this happened?" I looked up at her angrily. "Did _he_ do this?"

"No! Connor would never hurt me!" I say, raising my voice. "In fact, he's the one who saved me! Well, technically Jared did, but then Connor helped me get over my panic attack!"

"What do you mean Jared saved you?! Saved you from what?!" Heidi asked, raising her voice too.

"From people, mom! People who don't like me because I'm dating a guy!" I said back. Then I stopped. _Shit. _I hadn't actually come out to my mom yet.

Heidi raised her eyebrows. "So you and Connor are actually dating? He wasn't kidding when he said you two were together?"

"When did he say that?"

"When you were in the hospital. After the crash. They wouldn't let him in, so he told them you were his boyfriend." Heidi says, "I thought he was just trying to see you. To make sure you were fine."

"W-We weren't together then. I m-mean, we liked each other. But our actual first date was a week or so ago." I mumbled.

"So you're together now?" I nodded and she sighed, then hugged me. I winced a little, but I don't think she noticed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for accusing Connor of hurting you." She whispered.

"It's okay. I know he doesn't seem like the nicest person out there, but he has a good heart." I say, smiling a little.

I really did love Connor. I mean...He was Connor. He was amazing and handsome, and just awesome.

"Okay. Go clean yourself up, and do your homework." Heidi says, smiling a little. "I have to go to class. I forgot about it today."

"Alright. Love you." I say. "I'll see you later." Heidi smiled again and grabbed her purse, and then she was gone again.

—

I didn't get a text from Connor until later that night, when he invited me over for dinner. Apparently his mom wanted to see me again, since I seemed like such a sweet boy to her.

_I wonder if Larry knows about me and Connor yet._ I thought as I changed into nicer clothes. _I mean, we are still together. So probably not._

Connor had insisted on picking me up, so I just waited downstairs. I took a couple of anxiety pills, just in case, right before he got there.

"Well, I would warn you about my family. But we're all kind of unpredictable." Connor said after we had started driving to his house.

"That's reassuring." I say with a small laugh. He smiles and glances at me for a moment.

"Don't worry. Everyone will love you. But not as much as I do." He smiled again.

"If you say so." I joked, laughing again.

"Yes, I do say so. I love you Evan Hansen." Connor said.

"I love you too, Connor Murphy."


	13. Chapter 13

(Connor's POV)

Almost the whole car ride I was praying that nothing would go wrong. Which was unlikely, but still. I _really _wanted nothing to go wrong. I know technically my mom already knows me and Evan are dating, Zoe too. But they haven't really met him yet. And my dad...Well, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

I hope we never do though. He's always disapproved of gay people. Which is why I haven't told him yet. Or plan on telling him. Ever.

We get to my house soon, and I hold Evan's hand until we get to the door. Larry opened it, surprisingly. And I quickly let go of Evan's hand.

"Hi." Larry said. "You must be Evan." Evan nodded and smiled.

"Well, come on in." He said after a few moments, stepping to the side so we could walk in. I shared a look with Evan, and he weakly smiled at me.

_He's probably nervous as hell. He's still got scratches on his face from earlier. I'm still pissed about those kids beating him up. If I ever find them-_

My thoughts were interrupted by Zoe, who had pranced into the living room where me and Evan were standing.

"Hello there." She said, smiling at Evan.

"Hi." Evan smiled back. She looked at me for a moment, then back at him. Then glanced around.

"You two are cute together." She whispered to him before prancing away. I heard him chuckle a little bit.

"Well, she's not wrong." I say, smiling and sitting down on the couch. He laughed and sat down next to me. He leaned back and closed his eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, a little worried.

"Just tired." He mumbled. I leaned over and kissed his cheek, and he opened his eyes and smiled at me.

"What happened to the 'no affection' rule?" He asked jokingly.

"Eh, What can I say? I'm a rule breaker." I reply. He smiled again, then leaned over to kiss me.

"Dinner's ready!" My mom called from the other room before he could.

"Well that ruined the moment." I grumbled. "Come on, let's go." I kissed Evan's hand before leading him to the dining room.

"Wow." Evan said when he looked around the room. "This is really fancy."

"It's not _that_ fancy." I say as I sit down. He chose to sit next to me, which made me happy.

"Yes, yes it is that fancy." Evan says, laughing a little.

—

Dinner went smoothly for the most part. A couple of passive aggressiveness between me and Larry, but Evan would squeeze my hand a little when I would start to get mad.

We were holding hands under the table the whole time.

I thought we could last the whole night without my dad, I mean Larry, finding out. But I was wrong.


	14. Chapter 14

(Evan's POV)

After dinner Connor offered to drive me home, but I wanted to walk home. I was scared I might have passed out in his car.

I may or may not have taken extra pills earlier, so I was kind of drowsy. Okay, fine. Really drowsy.

"You sure? It's dark out." Connor said as I was walking to the door.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I say. Then I kiss him on the lips real fast before walking out. It was only until I was halfway home that I realized Larry was in the same room. When I kissed Connor.

_Oh. Fuck. _I thought as I sat down on the side of the road. Connor had told me about how homophobic Larry seemed.

Which kind of scared me, considering the fact that I had just _kissed Connor in front of him. _

I sighed and leaned back so I was laying down. My eyelids felt extremely heavy, so I let them close for a moment. That's when I accidentally fell asleep on the sidewalk. I really shouldn't have taken those extra pills.

(Back to Connor's POV)

I froze up when Evan kissed me, and I heard Zoe run up the stairs like there was no tomorrow. I slowly turned and looked at Larry.

"U-Um..." I was planning to excuse the kiss, but that's all that came out.

"It seems like you and Evan are more than just friends." He growled.

"Yeah." I whispered, looking down.

I looked up for a moment, then he sighed and walked over to me. I tensed up a little, then he hugged me. He _hugged _me.

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" He asked, pulling away and looking at me. "I had no idea you were dating Evan."

I smiled a little. "I was just kind of scared. You always seemed to...I don't know. Not really approve I guess?"

"I know, I'm sorry." He said. "I wanted to ask, was he okay? He seemed like he was going to pass out during dinner. Are we really that boring?"

"He did?" I asked, suddenly worried again. "I hadn't noticed."

"Well, just make sure he got home safe." Larry said before walking away. I nodded a little, then pulled out my phone to text Evan.

**You: **_Hey, just checking in and making sure you were okay. Even my dad noticed you were about to fall asleep. _

He didn't respond. Which was weird, he usually responded right away. Which was why I was worried earlier too. I tried again ten minutes later.

**You: **_Evan? Please text back, I'm kind of worried. _

When he didn't respond again I put my phone away and grabbed my jacket.

"I'm going for a walk." I said to my mom, who was still washing dishes. She nodded, then I walked out the front door and ran to my car. I knew for a fact it took Evan a while to go to sleep, so he couldn't have just gone home and went to bed.

I started driving, then noticed something on the sidewalk that looked like a person.

_Oh shit. _

I quickly stopped the car and got out, running to the person's side.

(Alright, Evan needs a happy ending, so that's what I'm gonna give him.)


	15. Chapter 15

(Still Connor's POV)

"Evan?!" I half-shouted, kneeling down next to him. He moved his head to the side and groaned a little.

"Evan, What happened?" I asked, quieter this time. Evan tried to sit up, but then just fell backwards. I heard his head hit the pavement and quickly picked him up.

"You are answering all my questions when you are awake." I say. My voice was a bit sterner now, but I was still worried.

_Nothing else can make this day worse. Well, maybe except Evan's explanation for this._ I thought as I put him in the passenger seat, then got into my side.

I kept glancing over at him as I drove to his house. He looked exhausted, and was either sleeping or just sitting there.

When we got there I carried him inside again, since he just said "No" when I told him to go inside. I sighed when we got in, and I laid him down on the couch.

"My head hurts." He mumbled, rolling over on the couch to face me. I was sitting in a chair not too far away.

"Well you were sleeping on concrete, and then you hit your head." I say to him. Evan closes his eyes again.

"Damn you, Evan." He said, sighing. I looked at him.

"What?" I asked.

"I said 'Damn you, Evan'." He opened his eyes to look at me. "I took extra pills, and now I feel terrible."

"You _what_?!" I shouted, standing up. Thankfully his mom wasn't home.

"I thought I was going to be really anxious." He said quietly.

"Evan what the _hell _is wrong with you?!" I shouted. "You could have died!"

"Who says that's a bad thing?" He mumbled. I could barely hear it, but I did. That was when I snapped. The icing on the cake.

"I do! I say it's a bad thing! You think I _want_ you dying?! Because I don't! I really, really don't!" I basically screamed at him when I was saying this. He curled into a ball and his shoulders started shaking.

All of the anger inside of me disappeared and I felt extremely guilty.

"Evan, Evan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was just mad. I'm bad at controlling my anger." I say, kneeling down besides the couch. He looked at me and sniffled.

"It's n-not th-that." He said, hiccuping a little. "It's b-because I d-do s-stupid things and it's m-my fault your mad. And I sh-shouldn't have t-taken any pills, and I'm j-just s-so s-stupid!"

I sighed and moved him over, then sat down on the couch. I pulled him close and hugged him.

"You aren't stupid Evan." I say softly, kissing the top of his head. "Okay, Yeah, Maybe it was a stupid idea to take extra pills. You could have gotten hurt. But...still."

Evan sighed and sat up. "Y-You should probably go home soon." He said. "I'm just gonna go to bed, I'm still tired."

"Okay." I say, hugging him again. "You sure you'll be okay?"

He nods and kisses me. "Yeah. I'm sorry for worrying you and...and everything. I love you."

I smile and stand up with him. "I love you too. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

It turns out I wouldn't see him tomorrow.


	16. Chapter 16

(Evan's POV)

All I remember from the day before was going to dinner with Connor, then afterwards sitting down on the sidewalk. And I can remember bits and pieces from our conversation afterwards. But not all of it.

But anyway, I woke up feeling really sick. I was feeling nauseous too, so I went to the bathroom just in case. Then I threw up, but at least I made it to the bathroom.

My mom was already at work, so I would call her later if the school called her. It probably would, to tell her I was absent.

But I was too tired to do it now, so I just brushed my teeth and went back to bed. I didn't wake up until I heard something hit my window.

I opened my eyes and sat up, then started feeling nauseous again. I had grabbed the trash can by my desk and put it next to my bed, so I threw up in there. Then I looked up and saw Connor knocking on the window.

_Wait. Connor is knocking on my window. How the hell did he get up there?_ I wondered as I got out of bed and opened it.

"Um...hi?" I said as Connor climbed into my room. "You could have used the door, you know."

"I was too worried to use the door." He said. Then he hugged me. "You weren't at school, or answering your phone. So I was worried. A lot. Especially since yesterday."

I sighed a little. "I'm just sick. I don't know from what though." Connor made a "hmph" sound, then felt my forehead with the back of his hand.

"You don't have a fever." He said. "So I'm guessing it's because of the pills."

I groaned and collapsed back onto my bed. "Well whatever it is, it's making me feel like crap." I closed my eyes and tried to relax.

Connor laid down next to me. I opened my eyes and looked over at him.

"Did you really skip school for me?" I asked, smiling a little.

"Yes I skipped school for you." He said, shifting so he was on his side. "Considering what happened yesterday, I'm never letting you go anywhere alone. Ever again."

"Wow. You must like me a lot." I say.

"I'm glad you think this is funny." Connor grumbled.

"What do you mean?" I ask, looking over at him.

He sighs and puts his arms around me, then kisses the top of my head. "Just...you. You acting as if you didn't overdose and pass out on the sidewalk. You getting beaten up by some pricks, and Jared of all people needing to save you."

"That wasn't my fault. And I could have fought them off! Maybe. Okay, no I couldn't have." I sighed too, then closed my eyes and moved closer to Connor.

"I know. But...Still. And then just...everything I guess." He says.

"Well, then let's just hope we don't run into any more surprises." I say, taking his hand and holding it.

"We won't. From now on we'll be happy, and nothing will go wrong." Connor says, laughing a little. I smiled at him again.

I really hoped he was right this time.


	17. Chapter 17

(Connor's POV)

Evan was fine now, so I went home when it was dark. But I got yelled at when I got home. Well, at least until Larry gave me a chance to explain.

"Evan was sick, and I didn't know. So when I tried texting him and he didn't respond, I got insanely worried." I said to him. "And I'm really sorry."

What can I say? Spending time with Evan has made me into a semi-better person.

As I was starting to fall asleep later that night I couldn't help but worry. I knew I would see him tomorrow at school. But what if I didn't? What if he decided to just take a few extra pills beforehand, then passed out on the sidewalk again? What if someone kidnapped him and-

_Enough, Connor._ I thought to myself. I took a deep breath in, then slowly let it out. I needed something to distract me.

_I know I was trying not to, but worrying about Evan is really screwing me up._ I thought as I rummaged around under my bed.

_There._ I smiled a little, then found my lighter. _Perfect._

_(Evan's POV)_

"Alright. It's just school. Nothing to worry about." I say to myself quietly. I grabbed my backpack and glanced at my assortment of pill bottles. _Just a few. Just in case._ I thought as I grabbed one of the bottles. I looked up at the mirror. _What would Connor say?_ I thought as I sighed and put it down. _No. I'll be fine._

I slipped my shoes on, then walked out the door. Walking to school was fine, nothing out of the ordinary happened. I got to school early though, so I wouldn't have to walk through the crowds of people.

It turns out, I probably would have liked going through the crowd more. Guess who I ran into.

"Oh look! He's finally back! I guess we scared him the other day!" I froze when I heard the voice, then looked around. The hallways were nearly empty. No Jared to save me. No Connor.

I was alone. And let's be real. I can't defend myself against anything. I tried to make a run for it, but I wasn't very fast. Or maybe they were just really fast.

Well, anyway. I felt someone's hands on my back, and then I was shoved to the ground again.

They only stopped when more people started coming into the school. Then I saw Jared run towards me as I got up, leaning on the lockers.

"Evan?! What the hell?!" I sighed and looked up at him.

"Good morning." I say to Jared.

"You look like shit." Ha. Classic Jared.

"It's better than looking like you." I say, smirking a little. He gasped mockingly.

"Evan Hansen! I am just...You take that back right now!" Jared says, shaking his head. I laugh and gently touch my eye, which had started hurting.

"Was it those guys again?" Jared asked, his voice dropping a little.

"No, actually. This was my fault. I got dizzy on the way here and fell." I say, not bothering to lower my voice. "So...Yeah."

"Right. Tomorrow you're gonna be here with a million bruises, then tell me you fell down the stairs?" Jared asked.

"As far as you're concerned, I'm very prone to falling down stairs. So just...keep that in mind." I say quietly.

He rolls his eyes and gently puts his hand on my shoulder. "Just make sure your psycho boyfriend doesn't murder the guys who beat you up." He says. Then he walks away.

I sigh and look around. Connor still wasn't there, so he was probably skipping. I quickly texted him a 'Hi', then went to class.

Connor was the only thing to look forward to these days, and he wasn't even here.

(The next chapter is going to be the last one guys :D)


	18. All Of The Stars

(Last chapter guys :] This is the end of the road for now, but I was thinking of doing a sequel. What do you guys think? Leave ideas in the reviews if you want one :D)

Connor wasn't at school all day, so I told him to meet me at the orchard.

I waited there for hours. I was about to go home when I finally saw Connor walking towards me. _Well he looks fine, but there's something off about him._ I thought as he walked closer.

"Where have you been?" I asked when he sat down next to me.

"At school, why?" He asked, a bit defensively.

"Liar." I say, casting a sideways glance at him. "I was looking for you all day. I texted you at three, and have been waiting here since."

"I lost my phone." He mumbles.

"You texted me yesterday." I point out.

"Yeah, I lost it today, is it that hard to understand?!" He snaps.

"Just tell me what's wrong Connor." I say, ignoring the small pang in my heart. He's gotten mad before, sure, but it just hurts when he snaps.

Connor sighs and looks at me. "I'm sorry for yelling. It's just been a hard day. I was worrying about you all night, so I just got high to relax. And then at some point I thought it was a good idea to steal something from my parent's liquor cabinet."

"And then what? Your dad found out?" I asked.

"Well I kind of went to the bridge, and drank the whole bottle of alcohol." Connor sighs again. "D-Don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you, Okay?"

I scooted closer to him and put my arm around his shoulders. "I'm never gonna hate you."

"W-Well I was leaning over the edge of the rail, and then I just...I wanted to let go of the rail. I just felt the urge to jump over and..." He stopped and looked at me.

I didn't know what to say. Connor had gone to the river, that's why he wasn't at school. He was at the river alone, and he wanted to jump off of the bridge. "What stopped you?" I asked quietly.

Connor smiled a tiny bit and glanced at me, then at the sky. "You. I just kind of pictured you standing next to me like the first time I brought you there. And you were smiling. And everything was perfect. But then I realized you weren't there with me. But you were still _here_, you know? You weren't with me on the bridge, but I just couldn't leave you like that. I couldn't do it."

I hadn't realized I was crying until Connor wiped away my tears.

"I'm s-sorry I j-just..." I had to pause and clear my throat. "Don't ever leave me, or think about leaving me ever again." I say, then I tackled him into a hug.

"Okay, I promise. I won't do anything like that again." He says, laying back and holding me in his arms.

I nod and rest my head on his chest. "Okay."

"The stars are pretty." Connor says. "There's so many."

"Yeah, But those are just the new ones." I say

"What does that mean?" He asks. I smile and sit up a little, then look at the sky.

"It's simple. Some stars die, but there's a million others. When one dies, a new one takes its place. But we never notice."

"Oh." He says. Then he smiles and stands up, holding out his hand. I take it and stand up with him.

Connor pretends to raise a glass towards the sky. "Here's to all of the dead stars, who no one noticed. But we're noticing now. Doesn't that count for something?"

I laugh a little and pretend to raise a glass too. I mean, he's right. We're noticing them now, isn't that better to never being noticed. It's funny in a way. I always thought I would go through life never being noticed...Yet here we are. I'm smiling with my perfect boyfriend, on a perfect night. Nothing could go wrong this way. Ever.

"Here's to all of the stars."


End file.
